I just missed my quota. Again. 

For the third year in a row, I ‌underachieved in my sales job at Salesforce. This was 2016, the year I almost quit sales. 

I decided to get help instead. I reached out to mentors, hired a coach, and took a rigorous sales training course. 

It worked. The following year, I was the company’s top seller. The year after that, I went from selling $1.3 million in annual recurring revenue to over $5 million annually, a staggering 285% increase. 

So why was I still so miserable? 

My sales had never been better. My mental health had never been worse. 

I traded in the stress of failure with the stress of living up to my success and feeling like an imposter who got lucky. I was at rock bottom, secretly suffering from addiction.

I thought I had to fix my sales. Instead, I had to fix myself. 

I got sober, began therapy, and worked a 12-step program. For the first time in my life, I put my mental health first. 

Today, life is amazing. What I learned was that I could be truly happy no matter how much or how little I sold.

If you’re struggling too, you’re not alone. Some 70% ‌of sellers say they struggle with mental health, according to the 2024 State of Mental Health in Sales Report. 

To help, I’m sharing the five key tips that helped me get better. For those feeling dark, know that your brightest days are around the corner. 

Tip 1: Focus on inputs, not outcomes

The biggest stressors are between our ears as we obsess over outcomes. Will I hit my quota? Is this deal going to close? These questions fill our days with constant worry.

I remember staring at the leaderboard back in my dark days, my face heating up with frustration. The emotions became so intense that I was showing up to meetings with commission breath, desperate to make a sale. Customers could smell it a mile away. 

“This kind of stress will kill your negotiations,” said Anita Nielsen, sales expert and owner of LDK Advisory Services. “If we’re in a place of negative self-talk, we’ll be tempted to leave money on the table.” 

I couldn’t take the discomfort anymore. First, I worked on detaching from the outcome and focusing only on what I could control: revenue-generating activities. I made a daily list of top priorities and took things one task at a time. 

Customers started responding, and deals were advancing. I felt productive and could sleep well at night knowing I was doing all I could to get the results I wanted. 

To improve outcomes, we have to improve our daily inputs. Think about your top priorities for the day, the steps you can take to move your biggest deals forward, the difficult conversations you can have that you’ve been avoiding. Those are the things you can control and take action on. 

Bill Walsh, the former San Francisco 49ers coach who won three Super Bowls, calls this process thinking. “Concentrate on what will produce results, rather than on the results, focus on the process not the prize,” he said.

Tip 2: Good now beats perfect later

One of the biggest struggles I see in my coaching clients is perfectionism. They avoid taking action because they think their work isn’t good enough, or they don’t feel prepared enough. This leads to a snowball effect, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed by inaction as their tasks pile up. As a result, they experience feelings of shame and stress from not taking the right actions.

I had one client who was just promoted to enterprise sales and was speaking with C-level executives for the first time. She clammed up in meetings, intimidated by the titles in the room, fearing that even the tiniest slip — a wrong word, a pregnant pause — would spell disaster.

My advice to her: There’s no such thing as perfect. Aim to do your best. What’s most important is that you focus on helping and serving your customers. The only way you’ll learn to command a high-stakes room is from experience and practice. 

That’s true of anything. We have to learn by doing, whether it’s writing emails, giving presentations, or negotiating. Good now beats perfect later. (Or more likely, perfect never.) 

Tip 3: Improve your mental health at home first

The root cause of mental health in sales will actually be found in your personal life, not your professional life. I emerged from my rock bottom because I learned I had to go to the source. I needed to work on myself before I could work on my career.

I realized I had a bad relationship with my quota, allowing it to dictate my self-worth. The worst part? I was doomed either way. If I hit it, I felt great for a day, and then I had to start over. If things didn’t go well, I felt awful. This is a vicious roller-coaster. 

I escaped with a mantra: “I am not my number.” 

I then set out to find joy and fulfillment outside of work. For example, I now spend an hour every day eating lunch with my wife and son, no matter what else is going on. I stop work by 6 p.m. every evening and spend nights and weekends with my family. I exercise four to five times a week and have successfully completed two marathons. 

Establish rewarding personal objectives outside of your job. Start small with goals you can easily hit. Confidence comes from consistently keeping your word to yourself, so give yourself some personal wins that boost your self-esteem. 

Make more phone calls to family, help a friend, or take up a hobby. Daily exercise, meditation, walks, sunshine, and time with loved ones go a long way. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s important to do the things you love to keep it full. 

Tip 4: Give yourself grace

We’re often our own harshest critics. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, and when we don’t reach them, we feel shame and beat ourselves up. This makes us feel even worse, causing us to repeat the same destructive behaviors we feel bad about. This what’s often referred to as the Cycle of Shame.

I’ve found that a key to improving mental health and breaking this cycle is to give yourself grace on a daily basis. You are doing the best with what you have, and that’s all you can do. Some days will be better than others, and every day brings a new chance to start over, one day at a time. 

A simple practice to get started: Acknowledge one thing you did well today, rather than ruminating on what you did wrong.

Also (and this is simple but important): Get back up quickly after you fall down. It’s normal to have days where you don’t feel or perform your best. We are human beings, not robots. Recognizing and accepting that we are imperfect allows us to strive to do better tomorrow when today wasn’t great. This grace allows us to get back up quickly and keep moving forward, one day at a time.

Tip 5: Get help

If you’re having concerns with your mental health, don’t try to address it alone. Seek help. There are professionals, communities (like Salesblazer), and resources available. For example, you could reach out to your company’s employee assistance program (EAP) for guidance and support.

Get better to sell better

When we feel bad, our performance suffers. Sellers who rated their mental health as good or great significantly outperformed sellers who ranked their mental health as fair or poor, according to the recent State of Mental Health in Sales Report.

The message is clear: If you’re having mental health concerns, focus on you, not your sales targets. And always remember that success follows happiness, not the other way around.